I have had a rough history of dating men long distance and it failing miserably. It took me some time to realize that it wasn't failing because of me...it failed because we both weren't committed to seeing things through. We weren't focused on the future & the other person didn't want to push through the struggles. Colossians 3:23 , "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart..." If God is not the center or even part of your relationship with your significant other then you can expect failure or something just short term. I never realized what my heart wanted/needed until I became single for a little over a year. I dated a lot of duds and tried to force long distance to work out because I thought that was the person God had/wanted for me. It took me until July 28th, 2018 to realize the man for me, that I have known for a few years now and didn't expect anything to blossom from the friendship with, was going to walk through my kitchen door at good ol' Camp Ripley and completely leave me speechless...which let me tell you....doesn't happen often! ;) It was like this whole new man that I was seeing for the first time was someone who needed to cross my path. He came in at the right time, the perfect time, and swept me off my feet. These 4 months have been a whirlwind together. Going to Iowa & Minnesota State Fairs together, going on romantic dates, meeting each others families multiple times, going to 3 weddings together, getting a puppy together, planning an overseas trip together at the end of May, and even planning our future together. In someone else's eyes this may seem fast, but it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We have never been more happy. We know this is what God had waiting for us at the end of all our duds and failed attempts at relationships that weren't healthy for either of us to be in.
I want to share a top 10 list of some of the best advice I have learned about making a long distance relationship last, feel like every moment with each other is new and an adventure, and how important it is to just enjoy the quiet times with one another. These are not only things I have learned with David, but also through my failures as well. Everyone is absolutely different, but I hope one, a couple, or even all can help improve the relationship you are in!!
1. Do NOT get focused on what you see is happening with other relationships on social media or even with your family & friends. Every relationship moves at a different pace. Doing this will only kill the relationship you are in and put things at a stand still not only in your mind but with each other as well.
2. If you are like us and only see each other on the weekends & sometimes every other weekend...make sure you are disconnecting from your phone. Yes, it is ok to check every so often, but take advantage of the other person being with you as much as possible :)
3. Plan fun stuff to do when your person comes! David and I had sooo much fun on one of the days over Thanksgiving weekend even though it was me getting Christmas décor for our tree at Michael's, going to Costco (where we both made a big purchase when it was just supposed to be a grocery run!), and went to Walmart to buy food for dinner we cooked together that night. This is so so simple, but made for a very memorable day!
4. This should probably be at the top, but go to Church together. There is nothing better than to see how much your Love enjoys going to service with you. That was so huge to me when David was more than happy to go to service with me & also volunteer in the toddler room with me just so we could spend time together.
5. Build something together! David put my new tv stand together and you learn so much about how stubborn they might be with not wanting to use directions or just want to build it on their own while you are in charge of the wood glue and holding pieces together ;) Either way, it is a great bonding experience!
6. Spend time with each others families. My family absolutely despised my ex...so David had some 'sucking up' to do. HAHA noooo! I was not worried at all with him. He did incredible and after the 2nd get together with my family he was added to the family group chat, family Christmas gift exchange, and even asked to be on the Christmas card ;) He is ALREADY an incredible addition to the family!
7. Take pictures of everything, always! Better hope your significant other loves them because this is the best way to capture memories together. David thought at first I took a lot of pictures but then he thanked me the other day for them, telling me they always turn out great and I always know the best time/way to take them. So do not feel like you are overbearing taking out your phone to get a snap because it is always worth it in the end!
8. Plan a future trip together! It is always exciting to have something to look forward too. Yes, for sure live in the moment and take life day by day, but also travel (if you can) and make every day EVEN MORE exciting! We have a super fun big trip planned together and I cannot wait to post a picture soon letting you know what it is :) HINT: it is tied with my other #1 destination!! (which I went to one of my #1’s, Australia, last winter!)
9. Don't try to hard to fit in with their friends. You want to be accepted...I get that, trust me I do, but acting a way you normally do not isn't healthy for you or your Love. So when you first meet me I can be an introvert, it takes me a hot minute to get used to someone and let my guard down with them, that's even in friendships. Luckily, with David's friends and family they were so very accepting and it didn't take me long to loosen up around them. Typical expression...but just be yourself and everything will fall in to place!
10. I will say plan for the future, but never be too focused on it. Disappointment is NEVER a fun thing to experience so planning the future together is fun, but don't get that 'one way' set in your mind of how you want it to go because you KNOW God will mix it up on you. Just like Thomas Rhett said "You never know what's going to happen. You make your plans and hear God laughing." So be open to change & different possibilities and everything will be alright.
I hope this was a great short read for you and will help you out in any way. Even if it just put a smile on your face I am okay with that ;) I appreciate all the love and support from everyone who reads & don’t be afraid to reach out to me! Xoxo 💋